Jungle Fevered

  
Because apparently Black women only behave when they are with white men...

Click here to View the actual video

A very dear friend asked me to watch this video and to list my top 10 thoughts on it. Now usually I stay out of certain discussions simply because it's neither black or white (pun intended), but curiosity got the best of me and I watched it.

So while I am going to do my best to not be irrational or judgmental, I am going to offer my perspective.

Here it goes:

1. I know many black women who are loving, affectionate, and respectful with their partners. So this comes off as a bit biased.

2. Unfortunately, a lot of black men are often encouraged by society, music, media, friends, and sometimes family to be promiscuous, be a player, not just have one woman, not marry, and not commit to the woman (or women) he has children with. A lot of this has affected interpersonal relationships within the black community, but this is not everyone.

3. On the opposite end, many white men are taught and see monogamy as valuable once they find a good partner.

4. There are many instances when black women have been submissive, loyal, loving, and respectful to their black partners only to be repeatedly disrespected, cheated on, lied to, abandoned, and or abused by the men they have chosen, so instead of choosing better they write off their race ( men do this as well).

5. It's not about black and white, but more so about hurt. People gravitate towards who they feel will hurt them the least. In some instances, interracial relationships can be a 'safe place' for both parties involved based off of how they may have been treated by their own. This is not limited to just relationships but overall experiences. If a man or woman is constantly told 'you're ugly and no one wants you' by their own people, its not hard to see why they might be attracted to the person of a different race who exclaims how 'beautiful' they find them.

6. Sometimes... It's just a matter of who you fell in love with. Nothing more. 

7. I actually have many examples of healthy happy black couples in my life as well as interracial ones so I kinda think this video is bullshit. I've seen some spitfire ass white women going to town and emasculating their men as well. It's just no one makes a big deal about it or makes it their 'thing'. No one is out here perpetuating the ideology of 'The Angry White Woman'. 

8. Now, if we are going to sing the 'Angry Black Woman' mantra, why do we never want to address the 'why'? How A LOT of why our sisters are the way they are goes back to slavery (and the mental mindfucks passed down to us generationally through the years). How some black women don't respect black men because they were blatantly and/or subconciously taught not to. How from day one the man she loved 1) could not protect her when his master repeatedly raped his woman 2) was publicly beaten in front of his woman and children (who he had no control over as they could be sold at any moment), 3) was not allowed to show affection for (because his only lot in life was to 'breed' and work for master). 3) As years passed, He could be dragged from his dinner table and hung in front of his home just because someone felt like it. 4) Oh and let's not forget when Reganomics hit and the Welfare system was readjusted incentivizing black women to not marry their men, because by having a husband/man in the house would put you at the risk of loosing benefits (but I don't have the time it would take to break all this shit down right now). 

All of these factors and more forced black women to become 'harder'. Be at peace without a protector, without a male presence, be both. A balancing act while being imbalanced is a hell of a feat but we did it and subconsciously passed these 'do it yourself' mentalities to our daughters. Encouraging them to be resistant and aggressive, while teaching our sons to be passive because their survival depended on it. So with these ideologies ingrained, the moment your average black woman comes across a man whose actions reinforce any negative stereotype that she may have in her mind already, it becomes 10x harder to convince her that it's just that one particular guy and not all brothas. 

9. More than any other group of women, black women need to feel safe. They need to subconsciously be able to entrust their bodies, emotions, and heart with someone who will not fuck them over. Many times black women will stay with black men no matter what the man does. This wears away at the integrity and faith a woman has for many brothers. Most white women will act a plum ass fool and leave her white man if he cheats. It's the end of the world and they will take you down ( Just Ask Tiger's Wife). White women and men are taught to approach relationships differently than Black people were so I can understand why some people might feel more valued in an interracial relationship. It doesn't mean the majority of black people don't love their partners. It's just that as a people, we have a lot of healing to do within our community. In order to heal, Our women need to start making better choices and holding the men we love accountable ( through respectful interactions and honest communication). Our men need to see the value in team, take responsibility for their actions and not operate as 'breeders' with babies scattered about like grains of sand. 

10. Lastly, I don't really like the implications of this video. Whoever made it might have some deep seated issues connected to black women that probably stems from an over bearing, possibly abusive black mother. It may have driven the paternal male away early on. The creator may have also had some negative experiences with being teased or rejected by black girls in their adolescent years thus a very seasoned contempt and generalization of all black women entirely...  and yes, I did just hit y'all with that behavioral analysis and I doubt I'm wrong on that.

Is 'Dead' the New Black?

-->

 #DITNB

Am I to believe that ‘Dead is the New Black’…?  Is killing black people the new ‘craze’ (pun intended)? Living in this country as a black person will surely have you feeling that way sometimes. Maybe I need to change my race and become ‘TransArmenian’ or something so I don’t become a hashtag one day. I know… what a terrible thing to say, but when terror becomes truth should we not call it what it is? So I’m calling a few things out.

The Shooter

I will not say his name, he is nothing more than his action to me, but the members of the KKK who sit on court benches and government and law enforcement must be immensely proud. One of their soldiers did his duty willfully and proudly and for that, he will be rewarded (its already happened if you just look more closely). Most black people know there will be probably be no real jail time. We know that there is no such thing as justice or ‘due process’ (especially in the good ol’ boy club of South Carolina). We’re already mentally preparing ourselves from snapping when he will simply be 'treated' for his 'mental illness' (which one of the Klan’s court appointed psychiatrists will sign off of on).  We know these things because this has been our reality.

Special Treatment

A lot of people were in outrage with how the shooter of The Emmanuel African Methodist Church was handled during his apprehension.  Personally, I was mad that he was apprehended at all. It would have brought a special joy to my soul to hear reports of how he was found dead laying in a pool of his own blood. Because then, I wouldn’t have to watch the bullshit ass ‘Wag the Dog’ style spin on ‘mental illness’  that will ensue and be propagated by the media. You know, cause only angry murderous white boys suffer from mental illness, no one else.

But the truth is, he did not receive special treatment. He received a Hero’s welcome and it was done in plain sight. Follow me for a moment:

·      He was not being manhandled or called out of his name for murdering 9 people, instead body language to me almost looked like the hint of a pat on the back

·      I wonder what sweet consolations and ‘don’t worry kiddo, you’ll get through this’ was whispered into his ear

·      By putting the bulletproof vest on him, they were not concerned for his safety (they knew he would not be harmed, because if a black person did pull out a gun in retaliation, they would be riddled with bullets).  My guess is they were probably covering up something incriminating that might have been on his shirt (strengthening that defense)

·      While all the of American flags at state building and institutions in SC were flown at half-staff for the slain victims, the Confederate Flag which is STILL flown at the State House of South Carolina (a government institution mind you) was still high in the sky. This was because it was a day of honor and celebration for those who respect that flag. That spoke more loudly than anything anyone could ever say.

·      I wouldn’t even be surprised if he was instructed to get high by his chain of command (because please believe he is not acting independently,) so that the drugs use would show up (building the defense)

No Coincidence

The time, date, and location of this heinous act was calculated, planned and methodical. This is and was clearly a hate crime and I don’t even know why there are still some people who refuse to grasp this concept. Funny how racists know our history better than us:

·       This was Denmark Vesey’s Church

·       This church was a historic landmark

·       There was a Senator there as well as pillars of the community (this was not random)

·       It was the 193^rd Anniversary of a planned slave revolt

·       The day before many Juneteenth celebrations commemorating slaves being aware of their freedom and walking off of plantations in droves

You can research more yourself

The Media

Fuck you. No like seriously, Fuck you. Fuck you for the misreporting. Fuck you for the under-reporting. Fuck you for the slanted negative implications you always seem to impose upon us.  Fuck you for the unfounded justifications you give to those who commit crimes against us. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you… and yes, Don Lemon, that lady was correct ‘You ARE an Uncle Tom’.

Covert Operations 

There is a reason why the Klan remains hooded, Why Navy seals do not announce themselves, and why in war ambush is one of the best strategies. Covert operations always yield the most effective results and black people need to start grasping that concept. We do need to act, but we don’t need to publicly announce every move and plan we make. That wasn’t how slaves were able to run away and it won’t be how we bring about change. We don’t need to put our most valued fighters and organizers on the world’s stage (because there is a history of them being killed). Just secure your home (in the same 2^nd amendment manner as ‘others’) and be prepared to protect yourself if need be (as is your legal right).

Prayer

Prayer is great on the micro and personal level, but just like you can’t pray away mental illness, you cannot pray away the hate someone else feels towards you.  It’s no different than being angry at someone who isn’t even thinking about you. It’s not affecting them. Pray is vital, but it is not the resolution to everything. If my son's say's 'Mom, I'm hungry, is dinner ready', I can't go tell him to pray away the hunger. That's not how this works. All those times we’ve jumped to defending those who hate us have gotten us where? Think about that black woman who shielded the Klansman at that rally a few years back, who was about to have his ass handed to him by a group of people, guess what?… He still fucking hates black people and is more than likely still very active in his homegrown terrorist activities. Stockholm Syndrome at its finest. Fuck that.  Pray, but protect yourself, your family, and your interests.

The Great White Hype

I have white friends who have no problem with my anger and uproar on black issues because they are just as upset. Which everyone should be at the incessant crimes, murders, and violations against humanity (specifically black people) in the form of institutional racism supported by ideologies of white supremacy.

However, my frustration is with the many white people who intrinsically see, know, and agree that this shit is wrong, but continuously remain silent. Those who felt broken, confused, ashamed, and helpless when 9 black people were shot in a church yesterday. Those who are still in disbelief at all the slain black people who should have been apprehended instead of killed, but would rather just not ‘get involved’. Hell, there are white people in this country who express more sympathy, rage, and public outcry over abused and homeless DOGS and CATS than they do for dead black people. To me, that in itself, is an indicator of mental illness.

The Walking Dead

 Yesterday goes down in history as an all time low for social media. I saw one of the saddest, most disturbing images I have ever seen in my life online (and I've seen some pretty gruesome shit). In the photo, there was a group of boys in what appears to be a hall or gangway. They can't be older than maybe 12-15 years old. At the front of the group, one of the boys has another boy performing oral sex on him, another boy is right next to him preparing to pull his penis out as well. Then it becomes clear. The boy on his knees is to repeat this act on at least 4-5 other boys 'waiting their turn'. All this being captured by the one girl present who took the 'selfie' smiling with this going on in the background. As horrific as this already is, it gets worse.

If you look closely at the boy who the act is being performed on you realize... There is a gun in his hand and he has it pointed at the head of the boy on his knees. The boy on his knees is being forced to perform felatio on this group of boys with the threat of being shot in the head if he doesn't comply with whatever they request of him. You painstakingly realize that you are now privy to and witness of the sexual assault of a minor by minors. Many of you saw it as well. It was removed and reported ( as it should have been) but that doesn't solve the bigger issue. 

I've been around children who operate this way, children who only know pain, abuse, and neglect. It is a harsh reality but some kids (not all) are too far gone to help and they are out here damaging other people at light speed. When images like this go viral, it validates all the terrible things 'they' say and insinuate about 'us' being savage animals. What is even scarier is that I have to worry about what type of interactions my child will have with these apathetic empty beings out here. This shit rips at my soul.

I spoke to a nurse from the University of Chicago who works in the neonatal and pediatrics unit. She had been there many years and told me something very sad and interesting. She said that the crack era of the 80's affected more than people realized. She said that you couldn't always see what was wrong with a baby because so many looked and appeared normal in spite of the mother or father's drug use. She went on to tell me how when those babies had babies ( many young) there was something very eerie that many of the nurses noticed. What they noticed was not with the parents (children of addicts), but the grandchildren ( this current generation after millennials) of former crack cocaine users. 

She said they all noticed that from a very young age many of those children were apathetic. Emotionally, many of them were cold. She spoke of a lack of empathy that was chillingly unnatural and a certain emptiness in their eyes (as if there is nothing there). There may or may not be research to support this but I believe this woman and the other nurses who have seen and birthed multiple children from the same communities and same family lines through generations, witnessing this first hand. I am not saying that this applies to all children of those particular circumstances, but I too have noticed certain disturbing patterns with this most recent generation. A general numbness. Unfortunately, there have always been children who were taught miscreant behaviors and have in turn inflicted them upon others, but with the rise of social media, never before has it been brought to the forefront in such a wickedly prideful manner. It is both sad and disgusting to think of what those boys in the picture were doing as they smiled for the camera as well. If that doesn't signify a disconnect I don't know what does.

So as I write this, with tears burning down the sides of my face in anger, I too, like many of you, feel helpless. I think of the dysfunction of the girl who happily took the photo as if nothing was wrong with what was going on. As if this was normal children's behavior. I think about what was done to the aggressors by some pervert fuck that made them want to assert their 'dominance' over a peer in that manner. I think of the mental, physical, and emotional issues the boy who was assaulted will now deal with. The shame and anger, the embarrassment, guilt, and helplessness (or what he might have to deal with from family or community members if now labeled 'gay' as a result of the sexual assault). I wonder, will he now become one of them doing this to someone else or will he be ostracized and regularly abused. I think of the young boys in Parkway Gardens, not far from where I live, who run trains on other young boys because they've been taught this prison culture behavior and I can't take it. 

There are so many of our youth who from day one were neglected, told they were nothing; treated like they were nothing, given nothing, so LIFE means nothing. They respect nothing, care for nothing, and feel nothing inside. The zombie apocalypse is now and the children who are killing and doing these heinous things are our walking dead. 

Sigh....

To You All, On Mother's Day...

My son and I in our matching green glasses

Ah yes, Mother’s Day. The day we are all supposed to pretend like homemade cards, hugs, and smiles will make up for the other 364 days when we are literally pulling our hair out. I know I’m breaking the unwritten rule of not acting like motherhood is the ‘greatest gift ever’ today, but I have to be honest. Mother’s Day is usually one of the hardest holidays for me. It makes me incredibly sad and frustrated. I have to fight to give good face when I really want to tell everyone to fuck off and leave me alone because right now, I’m in the trenches of motherhood and this shit is a fight everyday.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my son immensely, but I am a single mother and it pisses me off. I don’t regret having my son, but sometimes I wish it was with someone else. I get so tired of having to mastermind how I will provide for my child every month without any regular financial assistance from his father (just to lighten the load a bit). This is not a 'bash him' fest, this is simply what this day reminds me of. Mother’s day reminds me of what a struggle parenting can be.  I’m a mom who can’t stand Mother’s Day and that’s really fucked up.

My amazingly supportive sister and son at my Graduation (2011)

Now I understand how terrible this may sound, but there are certain things I really miss that I won’t be able to do or have again until my child is much older. I miss being able to just hop on a plane and travel at the drop of dime. I miss being able to come and go wherever I want, whenever I want. I hate not having the time or resources to do certain basic things for myself and I get tired of spending countless hours doing homework with a child who never turns it in. These things may seem trivial but they are the kind of things that over years can wear on you.

So to those of you Mother’s out there [single or married] who may be going through similar emotions on Mother's Day about being a mother (but it's taboo to speak about without being made to feel like a horrible person). I understand. Sometimes you don’t feel like smiling, sometimes your children can take you to a place that makes you not want to be a mom, but you still do what you have to. You still give love, show support, and take care of all of their needs with or without assistance because that’s what being a mom is. It’s the one job you never have the luxury of quitting and that is why we commend each other. That is why we support one another and that is why we celebrate.

This day isn’t just rough on us though. It can be rough for others as well. To the women who may have miscarried or lost a child, I know this day is hard for you, but Happy Mother’s Day. To the women who have never given birth, but have helped raise someone else’s child, you too are a mother, and have dealt with the same crap, so Happy Mother’s Day to you. To the aunts and godmothers who are always there when we are at the brink of sanity with our children, THANK YOU and Happy Mother’s Day.  To the sibling who was forced to raise younger brothers and sisters because of circumstance, Happy Mother’s day to you as well. I wish you ALL a HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY because you know how grueling this job can be and none of you should feel like your efforts were ever in vain on this day. 

Today, I think of you all.

To Sharita, with Love... An Open Letter

Commercial Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHlGT-KT-p0

 

This letter is in response to Sharita Wilson who appeared in the ‘Minimum Wage’ commercial endorsing Rahm Emanuel for mayor of Chicago and responded to me directly via Facebook.

Dearest Sharita,

Sister, know that when I write these words, they come from a place of love and the fact that we are more alike than you may know…

I do not think I am any better than you. I do not judge you or make assumptions about who you might be as a person or mother, but in some areas, and being 6 years your senior, I may have more life experience and can speak to some things you might not yet fully understand. It is not my intent to disrespect or demean you, but I am a straight shooter. That being said, you were used…

 I'm not proud of it but I’ve been used before, so I know it when I see it, in spite of whether or not a check is attached. You are a single mother and you do need help, support, opportunities and blessings to come your way. Having done commercials in the past myself, I can understand how this is helping you through this time financially. Trust and believe a ‘hater’ I am not. You see, I’m actually that chic silently cheering you on in spite of what the snakes hissing in your ears might otherwise have you think. I WANT you to win. I want your children to be provided for. I want you to have more than just the bare minimum. Just like I want that for the majority of my people (self included).

This is because I KNOW the hell of being a single mother. I know the pain and frustration of being rejected by a man you had a child with. I know the constantly being looked down upon and judged. I too, know those feelings. I worked two minimum wage jobs for YEARS while carrying a full-time class schedule. That was BEFORE it even got to $8.25 so I KNOW how you feel. I still had to be mom and in many cases did it without a car. I never got a penny of child support and there were many times I had to choose between buying pampers or putting gas in the car when I finally did get one. I was broke, frustrated, and dead tired all the time. So I don’t have to know you personally to know that you too want the same sense of stability. I know how bad you want out of that daily struggle. So I understand why you may have jumped at the opportunity to do the commercial. Now let me explain myself to you:

My words exactly were:

“Dear Whomever is in charge of the ‘get black women behind Rahm’ marketing campaign. You are failing.

Yours,

A Black Woman”

Let’s address this for a second:

Although I used the picture with your image, the comment was directed at the multiple commercials rallying support for Rahm Emanuel by using black women thinking that it will make the rest of us in some way ‘identify’ and garner our votes (hardly so). That’s it, That’s all. So as far as that comment goes, I implore that you climb up out of your feelings because it wasn’t even directed towards you.

Now let’s talk about YOUR commercial 

Whether you like it or not, I am my sister’s keeper and if I critique or criticize anyone please understand its only out of the desire to see you in a better light. Now, as I stated before, I’ve done commercials, I have a friend who has as well. So that being said, we all know there is this magical thing called ‘editing’. Rahm’s marketing team DECIDED to portray you a certain way whether you fully grasp that or not. That is why so many of OUR people had issue with the commercial.

1.     They played on the fact that you were speaking from a very limited understanding of the actual politics and agendas on the table (and we know this by the things YOU said-it wasn’t scripted). You professed how much $13/hr would help improve your life financially, but the truth is, it will not. First of all, it won’t even become a reality for a couple of years and by then (the way THIS city is set up) you will still be just as broke because of inflation and city taxes. Let’s not even talk about the fact that you will no longer be eligible for certain benefits and fall between the cracks of ‘make too much to get help, barely make enough to survive”.

2.      They didn’t say ‘cut’ and explain how it works to you fully. They allowed you to speak on it in a misinformed manner and it made you look ignorant. They didn’t even say ‘wait, let’s redo that’ when they could have. That is what bothered many of us. They PURPOSEFULLY allowed you to look ignorant and that angered me. Not you… but how you were used.

3.     They made sure to emphasize that you were a single mother living below the poverty line (which translates as needing government assistance). While there is nothing wrong with people needing help every now and then, it would have been more appropriate to have a white woman reflect that as they lead the nation in recipients on welfare. Once again… this was why it came off as suspect because the underlying implication of that commercial is ‘young black women in Chicago have babies out of wedlock and need government intervention and Rahm will be the one to help”…which is the purest of fuckery because he could care less about poor black people. He just happens to need our votes right now.

4.     Lastly… once again, good ol’ editing. You could have been expounding on being in school or wanting to go, your children’s college education, being able to buy a home, have a career with salary or whatever. We don’t know if you did and that didn’t make the cut, but what we do know is that it seemed like the only priority of this young woman was to buy presents. This reinforces the stereotypes of us that all we care about is material things; immediate gratification by buying stuff and not knowing how to manage our money. I’m not even sure if you are cognizant of the historical perception of us dating back to slavery that is the ‘dependency on massuh’ versus us being able to hold our own. A lot of this is why so many people ‘felt some type of way’.

Like I said before, it really isn’t YOU (personally) that has people in an uproar. Sorry to disappoint, but you don’t have as many ‘haters’ as you might think (and that’s a good thing). It’s about the implications and underlying agendas that are being pushed and the people being manipulated to push them. Just the fact that there is another commercial with Chancellor Hyman endorsing Emanuel is unethical on numerous levels, but once again, I don’t expect you to understand how big this really is and that you are simply a pawn.

I am no where near where I want to be, but I am also very far from where I used to be. Little Sis, please hear me. I see where you are at and I know you are not who you used to be. I know that the woman who once appeared on Maury is not the same woman wanting to walk in her purpose today.  I ask that you continue to better yourself in every way, shape, and form. Educate yourself on the issues and politics that you are now a part of. Yes, you were right, people will always have something to say about you when you succeed at anything. Sometimes it will feel good and sometimes it will sting. Pay more attention to the words that sting because therein lies small truths. Let this entire experience make you Better, Not Bitter.

Toughly Loving YOU,

Neffer-Oduntunde A. Kerr

“Boom”

*During my brief post-grad time at DePaul University I was not connected to ANY groups or organizations on the campus. While at Chicago State University I did serve as Student Board of Trustees Representative/SGA 2010-2011

An Open Letter to my Sorors: Why VH1's "Sorority Sisters" is Unacceptable!

Dearest Sorors,

 Many of you are already aware of the upcoming reality show “Sorority Sisters” that will premier next week. Considering the history of black reality shows on VH1, I am not interested in giving this show a chance to tarnish the legacy of our Founders, nor the good work being done daily within this organization.  Having a soror on a reality show, where the basis of the show is set up to amplify negative rivalries (and antiquated stereotypes of Black Greek Lettered Organizations) does nothing positive for Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated.

When I initially became a member of this organization, the first (and most important) lesson that I was taught was that I was now a part of something larger than just myself.  Which meant I no longer only represented myself. Anything in regards to my advertising of the organization; wearing my letters, participating in service projects, attending events or even simply telling someone that I was a Zeta came with a certain level of accountability.

It was always to be considered that my words, actions, and interactions could be a positive or negative reflection of Zeta. I understood that it was my responsibility to be cognizant of this and not bring any disgrace upon the organization to which I now belonged. This should be the uncompromising standard in regards to anyone wishing to publicly advertise affiliation with our organization (especially on a television show).

There are some who wish to justify this blatant disrespect by arguing that another Soror (Syleena Johnson) was on a reality show as well, so why not give the “Sorority Sisters” show a chance? Well Soror Johnson is a singer, and the show was about her life and career as a singer (not her life as a Zeta). The show was not premised around her affiliation with Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. and herein lies the problem with “Sorority Sisters”:

If this Soror was simply just on a regular reality show being herself, then I wouldn’t be writing this letter. On this show, this particular Soror is “The Zeta” (or living caricature of what the producers think a Zeta woman should be). Because of that, inadvertently she becomes the ‘face’ of Zeta that will be portrayed nationally and that does not sit well with many of us. I do not know her; she could be a very good person. However, the network hosting the television show (VH1) is notorious for propagating reality shows that result in black women being represented in the worst light.  So this gives me great concern. Although the show’s producer is a black woman (Mona Scott-Harris), she clearly is not interested in the grievances expressed, nor the countless petitions signed when it was first discovered that she was going to do this show.

I do not know how our elders will choose to respond but I implore that something be done. We may not be able to tell someone they cannot do a show, but can it not be mandated that our organization’s name, shield, likeness, and paraphernalia not be authorized for use in connection to this show? Large companies demand it all the time (i.e. why no logo’s or emblems are seen on movies and shows unless the show is paying to advertise it). What would have to be done so that the perception of our organization does not rest on the shoulders of one person whose integrity and character will be predictably compromised and provoked for the sake of television ratings?

I cannot speak for any of the other divine nine organizations being represented in this farce of a show, but as a member of this community-conscious, action-oriented organization I cannot remain silent. This show is not only detrimental to the reputation of our organization, but also that of the women in our community as well. So at the very least, let us not dignify this. Let us not watch, not feed the ratings and allow it to die on its own.

 Sisterly,

Neffer-Oduntunde A. Kerr

Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc.

Tau Psi Zeta

'The 'Selfie' Syndrome'

‘The 'Selfie' Syndrome’

 So recently, there was this big debate about the psychological ramifications of people who indulge (or overindulge) in the act of taking---and posting--- ‘selfies’.

When it comes to Social Media, there is a gamut of ‘disorders’ one could diagnose many online offenders with. Since we are so quick to coin new terms when it comes to ‘disorders’ (real or fictional) here are a few I have encountered:

1) Internet ‘thugs’ with their “Online Courage Disorder”. This disorder seems to magically delude individuals sitting behind computer screens into thinking they have grown a pair of balls. Saying things they could never do if the person were standing in their face. This by far is one of more severe disorders in the DSM-IV-OF (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders of Online Fuckery).

2) Or how about the “Foodpornophiles” who can’t seem to eat so much as a potato chip without posting it for the world to see. We get it, you like food. That’s cool, but it also comes across as you being basic and showing us all that you have never been anywhere nice until now (since we’re pointing out online disorders).

3) Maybe we should seek to help the masses (you know who you are) suffering from the epidemic of chronic “Glued to my Phone Syndrome”. These poor drones can’t even enjoy a party or evening out with their friends (as they are compelled to sit in silence next to one another tweeting about how much “fun” they are all having…. I can’t tell).

The above mentioned, along with other soon-to-be invented online ‘disorders’, can be attributed to the over usage of social media. So with all the online ‘disorders’ out there, I don’t quite understand why the attack on ‘selfies’.

Some would say that those who constantly post ‘selfies’ do it for attention (or likes). That they are insecure and looking for the approval of others while deep down inside having little self-esteem and self worth. 

Well I say HOGWASH! 

There will ALWAYS be people who do things for that kind of attention (i.e. the naked bathroom thirst trap ‘selfie’), but those are also the same people who do that kind of stuff in REAL life as well. To say that the ‘selfie’ is a direct reflection of that need for attention is complete and utter foolishness. Those people already had underlying issues with their esteem and self worth before they even downloaded that Instagram app! 

Do I like ‘Selfies’? Hell yeah! How else am I to capture my awesomeness and share it with the world through the perfect filter *insert pseudo-sarcastic tone*. But seriously, when I post a ‘selfie’ I’m expressing how I may be feeling in that moment. It’s not my fault I’m amazing and adorable (or as my friend Nikki would say ‘everybody loves me, and nobodies hate me’).

I wonder if certain selfie-haters take into consideration that some people get lots of likes because people actually know them in real life, they are good friends, and help or inspire others to live better lives.

  

Personally, I think that there are more insecure and unhappy selfie-hating people in the world than those who are happy. I believe these Miserable Minions have simply banded together under the “Attack the Selfie Crew” Act. When it comes to people saying that ‘selfies’ are bad, I will always argue the opposite. I would question why it is viewed as a form of ‘self hate’ opposed to ‘self love’. I would challenge the selfie-hater to identify why someone else taking pictures of themselves would make them so vehemently uncomfortable (I mean c’mon, just keep scrolling or unfollow).

The Fact is, in this digital age, people prefer pictures. Pictures say more than words. They are expressive and mean different things to those to post as well as view them. Let’s consider that before we decide to give someone a complex based off of our own experiences and interpretations. You just might be wrong.