Because apparently Black women only behave when they are with white men...
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A very dear friend asked me to watch this video and to list my top 10 thoughts on it. Now usually I stay out of certain discussions simply because it's neither black or white (pun intended), but curiosity got the best of me and I watched it.
So while I am going to do my best to not be irrational or judgmental, I am
going to offer my perspective.
Here it goes:
1. I know many black women who are loving, affectionate, and respectful with their partners. So this comes off as a bit biased.
2.
Unfortunately, a lot of black men are often encouraged by society,
music, media, friends, and sometimes family to be promiscuous, be a
player, not just have one woman, not marry, and not commit to the woman
(or women) he has children with. A lot of this has affected interpersonal relationships within the black community, but this is not everyone.
3. On the opposite end, many white men are taught and see monogamy as valuable once they find a good partner.
4.
There are many instances when black women have been submissive, loyal, loving, and
respectful to their black partners only to be repeatedly disrespected,
cheated on, lied to, abandoned, and or abused by the men they have
chosen, so instead of choosing better they write off their race ( men do
this as well).
5. It's not about black and
white, but more so about hurt. People gravitate towards who they feel
will hurt them the least. In some instances, interracial relationships
can be a 'safe place' for both parties involved based off of how they
may have been treated by their own. This is not limited to just relationships but overall experiences. If a man or woman is constantly told 'you're ugly and no one wants you' by their own people, its not hard to see why they might be attracted to the person of a different race who exclaims how 'beautiful' they find them.
6. Sometimes... It's just a matter of who you fell in love with. Nothing more.
7.
I actually have many examples of healthy happy black couples in my life as well
as interracial ones so I kinda think this video is bullshit. I've seen
some spitfire ass white women going to town and emasculating their men
as well. It's just no one makes a big deal about it or makes it their
'thing'. No one is out here perpetuating the ideology of 'The Angry White Woman'.
8.
Now, if we are going to sing the 'Angry Black Woman' mantra, why do we
never want to address the 'why'? How A LOT of why our sisters are the
way they are goes back to slavery (and the mental mindfucks passed down
to us generationally through the years). How some black women don't
respect black men because they were blatantly and/or subconciously taught not to. How from day one the
man she loved 1) could not protect her when his master repeatedly raped
his woman 2) was publicly beaten in front of his woman and children (who he had no control over as they could be sold at any moment), 3) was
not allowed to show affection for (because his only lot in life was to
'breed' and work for master). 3) As years passed, He could be dragged
from his dinner table and hung in front of his home just because someone
felt like it. 4) Oh and let's not forget when Reganomics hit and the
Welfare system was readjusted incentivizing black women to not marry
their men, because by having a husband/man in the house would put you at the risk of loosing benefits (but I don't have the time it would take to break all this shit down right now).
All of these factors and more forced black women
to become 'harder'. Be at peace without a protector, without a male
presence, be both. A balancing act while being imbalanced is a hell
of a feat but we did it and subconsciously passed these 'do it yourself'
mentalities to our daughters. Encouraging them to be resistant and
aggressive, while teaching our sons to be passive because their survival
depended on it. So with these ideologies
ingrained, the moment your average black woman comes across a man whose
actions reinforce any negative stereotype that she may have in her mind already, it
becomes 10x harder to convince her that it's just that one particular
guy and not all brothas.
9. More than any
other group of women, black women need to feel safe. They need to
subconsciously be able to entrust their bodies, emotions, and heart with
someone who will not fuck them over. Many times black women will stay
with black men no matter what the man does. This wears away at the
integrity and faith a woman has for many brothers. Most white women will
act a plum ass fool and leave her white man if he cheats. It's the end
of the world and they will take you down ( Just Ask Tiger's Wife). White
women and men are taught to approach relationships differently than
Black people were so I can understand why some people might feel more
valued in an interracial relationship. It
doesn't mean the majority of black people don't love their partners.
It's just that as a people, we have a lot of healing to do within our
community. In order to heal, Our women need to start making better
choices and holding the men we love accountable ( through respectful
interactions and honest communication). Our men need to see the value in
team, take responsibility for their actions and not operate as
'breeders' with babies scattered about like grains of sand.
10.
Lastly, I don't really like the implications of this video. Whoever
made it might have some deep seated issues connected to black
women that probably stems from an over bearing, possibly abusive black
mother. It may have driven the paternal male away early on. The creator may
have also had some negative experiences with being teased or rejected by
black girls in their adolescent years thus a very seasoned contempt and generalization of all black women entirely... and yes, I did just hit y'all with
that behavioral analysis and I doubt I'm wrong on that.
